the reflection in your eyes
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: "There was recognition in Jonathan's eyes, finally, the weight of hundreds of years, hundreds of lifetimes suddenly crashing down on him. By the time Alec pulled away, he already knew that it would change nothing."


**Notes: If this seems mildly familiar, then that's likely because it is - I posted this prologue some months (nearly a year) ago on tumblr and now decided to, you know, actually go somewhere with it. Vaguely based on the book series _Fallen_ \- very vaguely, but just enough to count as an AU of it, I suppose. The themes it deals with is fallen angels, reincarnation, and character's choices and the consequences they bring.**

 **Title taken from Sleeping At Last's _Sight_ , which fits rather well _and_ which can also tip you off that there will be quite a few obnoxious _Divine Comedy_ references at random intervals.**

 **Hope you enjoy it and feedback is always welcome!**

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 **1867, England**

The party had been a complete success. Jonathan had announced it as soon as he'd arrived outside in the garden where Alec was sitting under one of the trees in the hopes of getting some fresh air and, without asking, had joined him on his bench. He didn't _need_ to ask, of course – he was the host's son – but at least telling him why he had come out here would have been lovely.

Of course, not much of what Jonathan did could be classified as _lovely_. It had never been a part of his nature in this life or any other and Alec's heart ached with all the similarities that he had to try and ignore. So instead of dwelling on that, he did the first thing that came to mind and, when the man expressed interest in the fruit he was holding – a fig, though most of the people in this town didn't have a name for it – he just handed it over and froze when Jonathan didn't move to take it and bit into it instead.

"You shouldn't tease me so, Mr Lightwood," he said, looking up at him through his eyelashes with an expression that could be described as nothing but coy. It was all a game to him, it seemed, and Alec desperately wished it could stay that way but he could already _see_ the change; the pull that Jonathan felt to him. "It isn't fair, especially if you'll be leaving soon."

"I have no choice." There was always a choice, that was all people kept repeating, but not for this; not for him. Not this time. This Jonathan didn't even know him properly yet and if he didn't give him the chance to, maybe it would be fine this time. He only had to get out in time.

"I understand," Jace nodded. "And yet— we haven't known each other long, but you have been a good friend to me." He shifted closer, one hand resting on Alec's knee in the way that would have been entirely inappropriate if it had been anyone else. "Let me at least give you something to remember me by."

"That might be unwise." Alec didn't move to stand up. He should have known – they couldn't escape this. They never had so far, so why would the world suddenly be on his side?

But the shadows, invisible to anyone but him and all too familiar, were already gathering around Jonathan, tinting the air around him with shades of black as he leant in a little further and, for the millionth and the first time ever, he kissed him.

By the time Alec pulled away, he already knew that it would change nothing. There was _recognition_ in Jonathan's eyes, finally, the weight of hundreds of years, hundreds of lifetimes suddenly crashing down on him as he gasped for breath.

" _Alec_." There was panic in his voice now, wild and overwhelming, but his focus didn't waver. _This_ was what Alec had been fearing; that however long he had left would be spent trying to help him. It was like this every single time and it never failed to hurt even more than it had in the past. "It's all my fault."

"No," Alec hurried to say. "No, it's not. Everything's going to be all right. Trust me, please, I'll find a way to fix this."

Jonathan reached for him, but it was too late. He was slipping away, sinking in the shadows that had chased him his entire life, and Alec turned away as the world around him melted into the fire.


End file.
